


Planned Romance

by Quin_Quil



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Highschool AU, M/M, Rated M for later i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-31
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-02-15 12:14:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2228637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quin_Quil/pseuds/Quin_Quil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Admitting to the fact you had a crush was hard, admitting the fact that as a self-appointed cool kid, with the most ironic choice in eye wear and MLP styled attire had a crush on the dork who spoke like a bad eighties movie and had the worst taste in general, none of which was ironic, was even harder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Drunk Talks

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dodo_Birdie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dodo_Birdie/gifts).



Admitting to the fact you had a crush was hard, admitting the fact that as a self-appointed cool kid, with the most ironic choice in eye wear and MLP styled attire had a crush on the dork who spoke like a bad eighties movie and had the worst taste in general, none of which was ironic, was even harder.

Dirk had been following around the kid since they were in middle school together, by then Dirk had his own group and wasn’t looking for any other members, he was a recluse for a lack of a better term, and remains to be one now. He had to thank fuck that he managed to survive puberty and came out of it without the acne and braces, after that train wreck he was more than happy to deal with some of the acne scars that weren’t nearly as bad as he thought they would be. As kind as puberty was to him, he had to say that it was even kinder to Jake, he went from a short adventurer to some stud with glasses and buck teeth, which seems to oppose most people’s view of a stud.

He hung around John Egderp, (Dirk’s younger brother’s excuse for a best bro, admittedly kind of funny to hang around except when he was being a little shit.) Jane Crocker, (who seemed to be carrying a torch for Jake since she met him, Dirk couldn’t say he didn’t know how that felt) and a few of the more adventurous types like Aradia Megido. Dirk only had around two classes with that dingus which meant two notebooks filled with doodles of Jake, and two classes that he couldn’t even be bothered paying attention in.

His affiliation was always with Mechanics, Maths and Coding. How he could consider himself any less than one of the biggest nerds was a wonder, sharing only his Biology and History class with Jake, they sat next to each other in more or less silence, sometimes it was John and Jake talking about movies and other times Jake had asked to borrow some notes from a class he had missed, (which goes without saying Dirk had to lie about not taking any or hand over the more invasive picture of Jake with a smuppet and explaining himself.)

Said notebooks were his massive totally uncool downfall.

“Diiiirrrkkk” Roxy called, staggering into his shared apartment, his elder brother was out of town a lot, and his younger brother Dave had no time to stick around unless it was to stay in his own room, which was fine in Dirk’s books because he did the exact same, when the nightly ritual of bad pizza or Chinese takeaways and crappy television shows rolled around they had their brief conversations and that was what worked.

“Hey, Roxy.” Dirk said, eying his already plastered friend as she flopped down on the couch beside him, a tote bag in tow which could be safely assumed to contain a few crumpled notes and half a bottle of whiskey left. Their study nights usually needed it to keep them both mildly interested, really study night was the pretense to getting drunk and catching up on what they can’t at school or with their other friends.

He had already set up his papers and books he pulled out of his bag and thrown across the table much before Roxy had arrived, earning a small nod of approval from his elder brother before he left on another trip to some other place he wasn’t quite sure how to pronounce, nor did he really care. Bros don’t ask bros where they are going, in other words you weren’t answered unless with a strife so there never was much point.

“Sooooo, we are totes stud-studying what even?” She said, her speech slurred as she grabbed one of his notebooks flipping through, he gave her a shrug and emptied out her bag, pulling out the bottle and the slightly damp pages of what seemed to be a maths test with small cats drawn over it. Roxy was smart, as was Dirk. But she was too drunk most of the time to care, and Dirk gave up caring after he was all but certain he was going to carry on with his robotics, so he did what he could to motivate his friend.

“Oh yeah!! Sorry ‘bout the leakage, blame the vodka I had fo’ lunch today!!! Shots shot shot shots.” she sung, as she picked up another one of his notebooks as he raised his eyebrows over his pointed shades.

“Great to hear. Shouldn’t lunch be spent, as defined by the school a break to eat, not a break to assure you’re hammered for your sixth period class.” She skimmed over his notes, blowing a puff of air out and pouting.

“You try to sit through one of the health classes with Stabs’ Mc’ Knives lover.” She threw the note book away with a look of boredom, picking up the heavily covered in small pictures of ponies and swords book from his History class.

“Woah, hey no. Give that one back, I didn’t mean to put it out.” Dirk said holding his hand out to grab it, her quickly pulling away with a sly smirk.

“Omg, Dirky, are you hiding something from me!!” She quickly opened the book and flipping through, she opened to a blatant page dedicated to Jake’s face, and various other parts. Ending with a small doodle of the two kissing.

“Der-Da-Dirk,” She said messing up her words wasn’t anything new to him, but the new feeling of utter embarrassment was. “Is this who I think it is, omfg is this Jakers. It’s totally him!!” He pounced forward trying to get the book back.

“Roxy, give it back!” She was up quicker than what he had ever seen as she ran into the kitchen.

“Oh. My. God. Dirk did you write this! I can’t even.” He chased her in, running after her as she ran around the island in the middle.

“Shut up!” He called out trying to jump across the middle but she ran before he could and down the hall. It wasn’t a large apartment but she was quick for how wasted she seemed to be.

“He glided his hands down as his buck teeth chewed at his lip, his green eyes staring with a wanton look!” She laughed out, running into Dirk’s room, jumping on his bed, causing the duvet to mess up and pillows and a few smuppets to be pushed off.

“Roxy, I swear to God.”

“’A-are you sure it’ll be alright, Stri-Stra-Strider’” She put on her best attempt at his accent as she jumped around in glee, Dirk grabbing at her legs and yanking her down with a small squeal, he tore the book from her hands and stormed back out to the lounge, a giggling Roxy following.

They sat on the couch for a few short minutes in seemingly awkward silence, really it was Roxy’s intense stare with a large smirk that unnerved Dirk.

“So, Jake, huh.” She said reaching for the half empty bottle on the table, and handing it to Dirk for the first drink.

“Maybe.” He said taking the bottle and taking a quick swig, grimacing as it burnt his throat.

“Maybe is like if you asked me do I wanna drink, and I’d be like maybs, so in other words its totes a yes.” She took her own drink passing it back, it was a wonder how she had gotten used to the burn and the taste. He sighed, bottle in hand.

“Yeah, I guess. Look it’s a stupid infatuation.” He said looking away as he took a drink.

“And how long has this infatu-infa-crush been going on, hmmm?” She said, wiggling her eyebrows at Dirk, who shot her a sharp glare.

“A while.”

“How long is a while?”

“I don’t know, since like middle school, or some crap. Around then.” She gave him a look of shock and he quickly took a massive gulp of the drink, coughing as it slid down his throat. Patting his back and taking the drink back she turned to him with a stern expression,

“AND YOU NEVER EVEN TOLD ME. OMG DICK-shit-DIRK.” Her face broke out to a large grin, parting her black lipstick stained lips. He had to say she was taking it a lot better than he expected, she had confessed once upon a time, and he had blown her off yet still she remained to be one of his closest friends and was even happy to find out he was gay? With some idiot who for Christs sake has an unhealthy obsession with blue women. Even though his contact with Jake was rare, he had overheard him a few times discussing avatar in Bio, and other times it was when Dirk was totally not eavesdropping on his conversations outside of class, or possibly the time where he followed him half way home on the wrong bus watching him over his shoulder watch the movie on his phone.

Middle school was a crazy time, his stalking habits have dissipated after an argument with Dave, who was more over protective than his eldest brother.

“I just didn’t think it was ever the right time, okay.” He said, as she happily bounced in the seat beside him. She really was amazing, and he felt bad not being able to feel the same about her, he wondered if she even felt that way towards him now, it was usually the alcohol that brought it back up, and a few times when she brought up what type of family they might have together. Drunk conversations remained between the two of them and were never discussed while sober.

“The right time is as soon as it happens! I could have already had you two like sucking each other’s faces off!” Making kissing noises, and pursing her lips, she was already drunk so he didn’t think she would really care about their own past, he should of realised that too. His eyebrows perked as he looked over at her, his own pale complexion tinted slightly red as he felt the whiskey take its desired effect, he was a light weight, even he could admit to that.

“What do you mean you could have already had us sucking each other’s faces off, how do you even propose to do that, Roxy.”

“I totes have a plan that’ll work one-hundred-and-twenty-four percent.” She took a swig of the drink winking at Dirk. He listened intently through her slurred discussion before accepting the terms and conditions as to put it lightly and both took a swig of whiskey in agreement. 

Waking up with a pounding headache he thought back to the previous night with Roxy. What did he get himself into.


	2. Initiating Contact

The simple task of dragging his ass through the halls of the campus seemed to be ten times harder while his head was lightly pounding, admittedly the aspirin he had taken was the closest thing to being his saving grace today. The girl with the golden locks, bright purple contacts in and black lipstick standing by his locker, was however not.

He moved over slowly ignoring the Rose as he put in his code swinging open the door and purposely blocking her face, whatever she had wanted to discuss with him was not on his list of shit to put up with.

“Good morning to you as well, mister Strider.” She spoke eloquently, he knew at that moment her black lips parted in a small knowing smirk that seemed to be a trait of the Lalondes that unnerved him to no end.

“What is it, Rose. Any other day I wouldn’t mind your company but today is a bit of an issue.” He said harshly, tossing his bag into the locker and pulling out a few books for his morning classes. His shaded eyes gave her a once over as she stood at her all but intimidating height of 5”6, a stark contrast to his tall lanky frame.

“It isn’t what I want, so to speak.” She began, her books clutched to her chest, ‘Summoning and Other Dark Arts.’, really Lalonde he thought in his head quirking an eyebrow at her. “Rather, what my sister had demanded of me. As per stature of agreement I wasn’t to tell you that she had confessed the previous night’s proceedings.”

“She didn-“He was cut off by a dark glare, interrupting her was never a good idea.

“As client confidentiality is imperative, the secret ends at myself. However, in her absence I have been told to instruct you to follow through with your arrangement. Of which you had agreed to in writing.” Did he really sign something? Surely he wasn’t that drunk.

“Look, it was a stupid idea in the first place, Lalonde, I’m not following through with it, and as far as I remember it had ended with, “getting on that and riding it all the way to hooha-ville.” You’re educated enough to understand that isn’t a good plan to follow through with.” Dirk spoke with a tinge of annoyance, his love life was nothing for the younger to concern herself over.

“An agreement is just that, follow through and get yourself to ‘hooha-ville’.” She smiled, a smile that said ‘might as well bend over the couch now because your ass is already mine and you’re following through with this.’ With a regretful nod, he surrendered waiting for her expected confirmation of what he was to do.

“As a professional, I would recommend a conversation. Common interests should be easily found, he enjoys movies and guns, perhaps you could steer a conversation towards your intended ‘check-point’ of receiving his pesterchum.” She turned and walked in the opposite direction before Dirk could do a thing to talk back to her. He had recalled Roxy’s own advice on the matter was very similar, but included gun noises and a far more slurred speech pattern.

Dirk clutched his books a bit tighter in his hand as he stormed down the hall to his homeroom, awaiting the eventful day leading up to his sixth period class with the one and only Jake English. It was no walk in the park, if Dirk had wanted to talk to someone, he had expected them to understand and talk to him first. Making the first move seemed a bit too forward in his eyes.

The day dragged on relatively slow, Dirk had managed to get out of any proper conversation with Equius in mechanics and only get into one argument with his younger brother at lunch over the fact Dave had fallen into a pile of plush rump strategically placed all over his floor.

As the bell had sounded to alert the students of their last class, the groans and goodbyes had begun. The small smile from Rose was enough to set Dirk’s nerves to a new high.

Sure he was cool, cool and collected, all the time. Maybe, most of the time would be a better way to phrase that. He could feel his palms become clammy as he walked into the history class taking his usual seat on the long table, waiting for English to arrive, presumably ten minutes late as usual due to his other meetings at lunch.

Not that Dirk knew what meetings he had on Fridays.

He had track meetings and Dirk knew without a doubt about that. The fact he listened to the same excuse every time from the green clad boy as he ran into the room and had a minor heart palpitation at his out of breath shaken words from sprinting across from the other side of the school.

Sure enough ten minutes into the lesson English sprinted into the room with apologises and sweat beading on his forehead, with the teachers dismissal of his apology he had taken his usual seat next to Dirk.

He smelled like grass, freshly cut grass, a rarity for Dirk to actually smell living in an apartment on one of the higher floors and for some reason that was an amazing feature about Jake English. The scent of sweat was easy to dismiss, being close with Equius, Dirk was more than capable of zoning it out.

Twenty minutes into the lesson and it was silent study, and the perfect opportunity to talk to Jake.

Thirty minutes into the lesson, the class was in a buzz talking with one another while the teacher was out of the room, Jake sat quietly beside him colouring in small lines on his paper. Another opportune moment.

Forty minutes in and Dirk swore the clock had sped up in that short time, taking a glance over at Jake, a small smile was returned and if it were anyone other than Dirk they would blush. Not this sugoi motherfucker. He was going to keep composed, but the way his tongue tied hadn’t helped the situation.

“Uh, pardon my intrusion, mate. Would you happen to know when the hand in date for this blasted assignment is?”

‘THIS IS IT’ His mind yelled as he snapped his head to face his desk companion.

“Dude, I have no idea.” Smooth.

“Well! Botheration!!! I’m hardly aware how we are meant to be working on it if I have no idea what we are working on. Hate to say it but my time has been spent doodling this… Skull thing.” He said motioning towards his book with a sheepish laugh. “You seem like quite the artist, I always see you drawing in your books during our lessons!” Oh no. “I can never get quite a good view, perhaps you should show me sometime, chum!” Thank God.

“I’m not sure if you could handle it, bro. The eloquent fluid pen style may drive a man to the brink of insanity. I’m not wanting to be involved in that happening to you.” Earning a small chortle from the other, Dirk counted it as a success.

“However so, perhaps one day my eyes may just be able to handle the sheer magnificence. Terribly sorry not to introduce myself, my name is English. Jake English.” He winked regardless of Dirk’s small scoff.

“I know who you are.” Jake tilted his head in slight confusion. “Uh, that is to say. I know of you, we have two classes together, I’m more than well aware. Names Dirk Strider.” Jake grinned, extending his hand, Dirk resting his hand nervously in Jake’s, enjoying the warmth contrasting greatly with Dirks usually freezing hands.

“An absolute pleasure to make your acquaintance!” Dirk nodded in agreement, it seemed to break the flood gates as English began to talk, about who knows. Dirk nodded along and added in a few comments of his own. The entire time Dirk felt like he was in some sappy romance novel, as his heart pounded loudly in his ears.

By the end bell, the rest of the class made their way out of the class quickly clustering together and out the door, John stood at the door waving at Jake, motioning him over as he hopped up and sauntered over. Dirks heart dropped to his stomach, the sudden joy replaced with some less than savoury feelings, Dirk leaned down to pick up his book noticing a small note written in a green pen on his table.

**“Was a joy to talk to you, strider!! Still want to see your art skills sometime though!**

**-golgothasTerror**

**(By the by, that there is my pesterchum if youd care to add me!)”**

Dirks heart leapt right out of his stomach doing slight flips and twists as he reread the note a few times, striding out of class with a bit more chipper in his step.

Total success.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really glad to be able to post this now was worried it may be much later due to school and everything but I hope you like it!!


	3. Be a Man

“Be a man.” Dirk said under his breath, his hands hovering over the touch pad of his laptop, the mouse ready to click at Jake’s pesterchum. He hadn’t been able to work up any courage just to click his name and say a simple greeting, maybe ask how he is doing, maybe confess and then have a stupid romance movie montage of all their times of ignoring each other in classes.

Dirk let out a loud groan pushing his laptop away from him and burying his face in the mound of plush rumps he had laid across the bed from earlier. This wasn’t how it’s meant to go, all those love stories and anime had lied to him, it was meant to be a lot easier than this filled with wacky adventures and a final where neither one of their families had permitted it and he’d have to run away with Jake to some weird cabin.

His excessive thoughts were cut off by a loud sound from his computer notifying him of a message. His heart sped up, convincing himself to just wait for a little while before replying, be cool. Curiosity got the better of him as he leapt up pulling the laptop closer and quickly pressing a button in order to turn the screen back on.

tipsyGnostalgic began pestering timaeusTestified

TG: OMFGGG

TG: U SLUTT

TG: ;O

TG: ;)

TT: Do I want to know what brought this on.

TG: a certian english

TG: ayyyeeeewe

TG: curtain*

TG: whatevs u get it*

TT: What are you talking about, we talked, so what.

TG: i had chatted it up with mr tall drk and dorky and he said he gave u his chumhandle

TG: like mog y woldnt u tell me bout that!!!

TT: …

Dirk could feel his face flush staring at the screen directly in front of him, he had talked about him? Jake. Jake told Roxy about him. About their three minute conversation. His kept erasing the text he’d write out in reply, attempting to find some sort of semblance of tangible thought process.

TG: yo durk u still there?/?

TG: dirk fuk*

TT: Yeah, I am. You two were talking about me?

TG: oh ho hoooo we were!1

TG: seems u made quite the impresson

TG: impession

TG: impression gdi

TT: What else did he say?

TG: that u havnt even pestered him like wtf dude!

TG: i thought you wanted ur ins

TG: this is not how u get your ins

TT: I didn’t know what to say to him.

She surely had to understand that much, it wasn’t every day you were given the chance to talk to your long term crush, let alone an Adonis in cargo shorts.

TG: how bout “hey little mama let me whispa in yo ear”

TT: God damnit, Roxy. I’m being serious here.

TG: fine just say hi then jfc

TG: dirk you r such a teenage girl

TG: “but roxy wat do i say??/”

TG: “wat shoes shuld I wear to school tomorrow//”

TG: “do u think jake would like this shirt??”

Dirk scowled, practically hearing her laughter in the back of his head. He’ll just have to prove her wrong, he can do it. He doesn’t need help on this, and for her information he was sure Jake would love his Rainbow Dash shirt. God damnit.

timaeusTestified began pestering golgothasTerror

TT: Yo, English.

TT: How’s it going?

GT: Oh!! Strider!! Quite the coincidence really i was just discussing you with someone!

GT: Erm. I do believe that came out rather wrong on my part. *Pulls at collar.*

GT: Not to say that i was discussing you in an unfavourable way!

TT: With Roxy?

GT: Indeed it was!

TT: She already told me, thought I should actually talk to you.

TT: Rather than keep a bro in the dark, what kind of bro would I be then.

TT: Because we are bro’s right?

GT: If you mean if we are friends, then rightly so, mister strider!! We are indeed bros! Hopefully to be the finest of chums!

TT: Yeah, bro. Finest chums in all the land, people will line the blocks just to see the finest chums in action, with their amazing friend like ability. What will they do next? Who knows, what else is in their bag of friendly fuckery.

TT: Maybe it’s a bro hug? Perhaps it’s as far to say as a friendly platonic date. But, only platonic, because that is the type of friends we’ll be.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Stop typing, Strider. Stop it right this second. He continued to scold himself nervously tugging at a strand of hair.

TT: Sorry.

GT: Not a thing to apologise about, really!

GT: It was quite humorous!!

GT: Normally it would be me that would be me that is being a right twat and talking about that business! Glad to find someone that shares in the same case of word vomit as i seem to have!!

GT: It really wasnt to be expected of you however, strider!! Im rather pleasantly surprised to have my folly of excitement of new found friendship to be returned!

TT: Yeah, totally. New found friendship fucking rules.

GT: Would it be odd if I were to mention the fact i had wanted to talk to you before this?

GT: Im terribly apologetic if you find it to be odd!! Its just you always seemed far more focused on your school work, i hadnt wanted to interrupt!

Dirk stopped for a moment staring at the green text that had appeared on his screen. No way. No way in hell is this happening right now. Was he dreaming, he had to be this doesn’t happen. But, as he was typing a steadfast reply. His laptop had shut down. With a loud aggravated yell he quickly hit the power button continuously on it, angrily cussing. His phone was with his brother, Dave had wanted it for some stupid game and beating his score, if he had gone to go get it now there was an inevitable strife, over HIS own phone. Or worse, having to actually tell Dave why he had wanted his phone back, knowing his brother it was probably already flat and as soon as he had wanted it, it’d be like the hope diamond to Dave.

With a loud sorrowful groan, Dirk decided to give up hope for the night, choosing to fix his laptop tomorrow, he laid his head back down and fell back asleep, hoping at school he could at least apologise and explain is predicament to Jake.

Unbeknownst to Dirk, a green eyed boy sat at his computer gnawing at his bottom lip with his two front teeth out of nervous habit, thinking he had just gone and messed up his friendship with Dirk, only a few minutes in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look forward to the next one being mainly centered on Jakers, and stuff mhmm


	4. Worried Confusion

Jake woke with the usual abundance of energy missing, dragging himself into the kitchen only to be met with the cheerful good morning of his cousin, Jade.

“Good morning, Jake!!” She called out placing a plate of a various assortment of breakfast goods, his mainly occupied with bacon and eggs, beside a plate piled with her usual breakfast of fruit salad.

“Morning, Jade.” He said, stabbing at his eggs which wobbled back into place on his plate. She huffed adjusting her glasses and giving Jake a once over. His usual dishevelled hair seemed to be even less kept if it were possible, his pyjama clad body leaned against the bench as he continued his assault on the scrambled eggs.

“No ‘By golly, Jade, these eggs are the best gosh darn things I have ever had the pleasure of ingesting this fine morning’ to which I would reply ‘Jake, I make these every morning!’” She snickered nudging him with her elbow, her dark long locks shifting with her.

He returned a small smile, with buck teeth ever present.

“Ah, I am a right twat, how could I forget our usual morning routine?” She snorted her mouth full with some of her breakfast. “It’s just, now. Let’s say hypothetically a friend of mine had reached out to talk to this other dapper gentleman, however may of said something a bit embarrassing, which in later respect didn’t seem as embarrassing in the moment.”

With a nod of her head she beckoned him to continue, “And then say, the other gentleman involved, not my friend, well he is my friend but that is regardless. Happened to, just leave. Without a word of warning!” He tore a piece of bacon off, chewing it with a miffed expression.

“So let me get this straight, you and your friend, were talking, and then you said something silly to your friend and he left?”

“It was a different friend not me!”

“I don’t have to be a psychologist like Rose to know when you’re lying to me, Jake.” She calmly said, “Plus you’re really taking a number out on those eggs for it being a problem related to someone else!” She motioned her hand towards the pile of eggs that had been stabbed with his fork during his rant.

“Fine, it was about me! I mean I didn’t realise what I said would have had such a negative impact on the bloke! All I had said was I had wanted to talk to him before this and insinuated that I’ve noticed him in class.” He said pushing his plate away and resting his elbows on the bench top.

“I wouldn’t get too messed up about it, Jake! He probably has a reasonable excuse, you’re getting way too far ahead of yourself, as per usual.” She laughed trying to make light to ol’ doom and gloom at the kitchen counter.

“I know, I know. But, I can’t help but feel nervous! What if-“

“Jake! Jade! Anyone home?” Jake turned in his seat staring forward at the blue eyed boy who had interrupted his previous conversation.

“Oh! Egbert! What are you doing here, mate?”

“You said we were hanging out today, watching a few movies and catching up. Jesus, did you already forget?” John snickered walking in and essentially throwing himself into the seat on the other side of the adventurer.

“Oh bugger, that was today? Sorry, chap, seems I did forget about it, I’ve just been thinking of a lot of things right now.”

“That’s new.” John chuckled earning a small snort of laughter from Jade. Jake cracked a smile, punching his friend in the arm earning a yelp from the other.

“You’re hilarious.” John shrugged rubbing his arm with a large grin. “And you aren’t helping with encouraging him, Jade.” She returned a smile before standing up tossing her bag over her shoulder.

“Try not to destroy the house again, you two. Grandma almost had a heart attack from what you two did last time. I’ll be back from work in a little while.” She casually strolled out of the house with the two calling out their farewells.

“So what’s on your mind, dude?” John said stealing a piece of toast off the side of Jake’s plate.

“Do you know the gentleman by the name of Dirk Strider? We share biology with him.”

“Of course, dude! He’s my best friend’s brother. Why?” John said tilting his head while he ate the cold toast. “Did he do something? Want me to talk to Dave about it?”

“No, no! Nothing like that, chum. Seems I may have just embarrassed myself in front of him the other day, I was talking to him online and mentioned something along the lines of wanting to talk to him before that interaction, and he disappeared.”

“This isn’t something you’d usually get yourself all cut up about. Are you sporting a man-crush on him?” John said bluntly giving Jake a suspicious look.

“Oh bugger off, it’s just a bit disconcerting I had wanted to be his friend. Perhaps you could tell me a little about him?” Jake questioned, hoping the red on the top of his ears which seemed to appear alongside the slight embarrassment wasn’t noticeable.

“Yeah, yeah. I can tell you about your obvious man-crush.” Jake punched John in the arm once again. “Ow! Fine, not your man-crush. From what I know about him and what Dave tells me, he’s a bit odd. I mean he likes puppets, I mean he really, really likes puppets.” Jake gave a small chortle at the thought of the anime shade sporting boy being surrounded by puppets.

“I mean, he’s pretty funny. He’s played a few pranks on Dave with me, and he likes electronics and that sort of stuff. I’ve seen Roxy go over there a lot.” John shrugged thinking for a moment. “I think that’s about it really, he’s weird, likes puppets and is friends with Roxy, and from what he wears to school pretty sure he’s into anime and My Little Pony, which I’m summing up under weird.” He snorted jumping off his seat and walking into the living room, expecting Jake to follow.

“So, that’s it? Puppets and ponies?” Jake spoke, walking into the room and flopping onto the couch.

“Pretty much, and the classic thing that the Strider’s seem to have with swords and shades.” John said rummaging through his bag pulling out a few DVD’s.

“He can’t be all that odd can he, chum?” John snorted and shrugs in response picking a DVD and putting it on, before walking back collapsing onto the couch beside Jake. “Sometimes I wonder why I talk to you about any of this.” Jake sighed shifting to give the boy room, and with a small grunt in recognition of what he said the two sat down to watch movies together in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE: Sorry that this chapter took so long to get out!! I forgot to put in the note there, I got a bit busy but the next one should be out sooner hopefully!! Thanks to deaddaves and ChibiEdo for you comments and not to worry deaddaves I'll continue on with it, and thank you!!! Also thank you to everyone who reads this!!


	5. Yeah Right.

“What the hell are you doing in my seat.” Dave spoke calmly entering the shared living room where Dirk sat shoving another handful of chips into his mouth and taking a swig of the orange juice he had in his other hand.

“Sitting.” Came the nonchalant reply as another handful of chips met his lips. A loud scoff was heard in return as Dave took to the other end of the couch, pulling the chips over to him and putting a few in his mouth.

“So, what’s up.” Dave said without particularly expecting a reply from his brother.

“Nothing.” Dirk said flipping the channel to another boring infomercial, he supposed it would happen to only be infomercials on in the early hours of the morning.

“Or it’s something and you’re being a lil’ bitch and not telling me. I mean who do you think I am? Is your waifu angry at you, bro? Did you forget to jack it to that moe as fuck waifu?” Dave joked, leaning back against the couch with a small smirk tugging at his mouth.

“I’ll have you know, my waifu is perfectly happy.” Dirk started playing along with Dave’s previous statement. “It’s nothing, dude. Do you really need a feelings jam, if so give that Egderp a call and leave me far out of it.” Dirk shrugged picking up the remote and turning off the TV, the room going dark with the single illumination coming from the kitchen stove light.

“I’ve already had my jam on with Egbert, Bro. He was all kinds of freaked out by Eggdish spending their night like talking about you or some shit.” Dirk paused in his steps, he was well aware of the young Egbert and English being close, but talking about him was another matter. For some reason English found it his own life goal to talk about Dirk with everyone, besides Dirk himself.

“English, his name is English.” Dirk corrected his brother slowly turning back to face him with a sceptical glance, “What was he saying about me?”

“John? Oh yah know, puppets are fucking creepy, you take irony to a whole new level swords and shades. The usual bs, dude.” Dave spoke back staring ahead at the recently just switched back on television.

“I meant Jake, why would I care what John was saying?” Granted that wasn’t a question, Dirk knew fully well that his brother was simply winding him up, it became ritual that their conversations never went exactly how ordinary family conversations go. None of the ‘Did you finish your homework, Mary?”, ‘Of course, dad! I got my grades back it’s a B!”, ‘I expected better of you Mary.” That’s normal right?

“Oh yeah, him. I dunno, bro. talking about how you ditched him went on about that and asking what you’re like.” Dave decided to give his brother this, not to beat around the bush for fear of later retaliation of the highest degree.

“Ditched him?” Dirk steadily replied with slight guilt. Dave shrugged in return and with that the conversation between the two was done, no point trying to get more out of the stubborn teen.

Dirk strolled back to his room, hiding the quickened pace of his stomach. It’s simply shocking to find the green eyed beaut constantly trying to get to know him better, if he hadn’t known he would assume English was after D-Stri’s D. But, unfortunately Dirk accepted that it was quite the opposite in rather Dirk was more than keen for an English sausage. Dirk scoffed at his own joke closing the door behind him and picking up his phone, if he’s with John it was a pointless endeavour to distract him, the years of classes with the pair proved that well in advance. Instead opening Rose’s number, which usually went unused, proven by the few messages that he had chosen to ignore where she was basing her entire study in psychology on the mindset of a teenage brony and needed “first-hand accounts.”

‘Rose, usually you’re the last person I go to for these things, and by now I assume Roxy is neck deep in a drunken coma with her cats spread around her, and Dave is being a lil’ bitch. Can I ask you if someone asking, or like, talking extensively about you is... Odd, for lack of a better word.”

Dirk tossed his phone to the side of the bed and soon followed it, bouncing onto the bed, peacefully waiting thoughts racing and butterflies throwing fucking ninja stars at the inside of his stomach, too rad, butterflies. Too rad. A small buzz echoed just as he was about to close his eyes and give up on the messages. He reached over to his phone opening the reply.

“Ah, I am glad to see that you’re trust in me has deepened to the point where you would question me on such a personal matter. Perhaps, in the later future, you would allow me to assess your family dynamic, which Dave seems to be so touchy about. But, until that day I am more than pleased, or unpleased depending on how you may take it, that it is indeed odd, to the extent where by any means would you consider a deeper evaluation of your current predicament.”

A speedy reply was typed out sending it with slight aggression.

“English, Lalonde, I’m talking about English, he’s been talking about me with John, and even talking to Roxy. What am I meant to make of that?” It was met with a far quicker response.

“I see, perhaps he shows the similar interest that you’ve expressed towards him.” Dirk scoffed tossing the phone to the side once more where it lay abandoned on a pillow. For someone that had the amazing ability to make him assume that he does have a mental illness every time they communicate, she was the one that sounded really crazy.

The butterflies resumed their usual escapade as he thought of the small possibility that he may feel the same.

“Yeah right, Dirk. Jesus.” Dirk grumbled as he rolled over to face his mattress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohman wow??? what is this??? is this a new chapter??? whaaaa???? I'm so sorry this has taken me months!! Also, thank you very much Mellamella for you're kind comment!!! Thank you everyone that has put up with my total procrastination on this as well!!


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